Into Depression’s Depths: The Truth About Depression.

“Death is better than bondage…”

A friend of mine once mentioned this to me when she was talking about her depression and at the time; I was too busy trying to cheer her up and make her feel better to actually ponder on those words. Fast forward to a few days later;I found myself thinking about those exact words while I was listening to a song and discovered that in those very words my friend had aptly described what it’s like to be depressed and suicidal,and if I’m going to be honest here,not a lot of us know what its actually like being depressed. A lot of us just think depression is all about feeling sad and blue most of the time as well as being overly sensitive when in actuality;depression is much more than an emotional state.

Depression is feeling like you’re not good enough because there’s a voice in your head that’s constantly shaming you and reminding you of your worthlessness. It is sleeping a lot because you are exhausted and drained from fighting battles in your head,while also having insomnia because the negative thoughts just can’t help keeping you up at night,it is smiling while feeling the demons creep up on you because you don’t know how to explain it to people and you’re scared of coming off as weird. Depression is struggling to live while also wanting to die because you feel like you’re living in a jail cell and that dying is the only way to escape it all, it’s facing the people who criticise and avoid you whenever you try to tell them what’s got you down,its listening to people play down what you’re going through all because they don’t understand.

Unfortunately,not a lot of people actually care enough to spot the signs of depression,most of us tend to brush it off as a regular mood swing when we see it,only to be shocked by the news of the suicide where we see everyone wondering why they weren’t able to see the signs and paying their respects to the dead(like they didn’t ignore the signs while the dead were living 😶). Most times people tend to see suicidal people as people who are just looking for attention which in turn causes them to dismiss them as clout chasers because they are doubtful of the possibility that the person in question can actually commit the act. This causes the depressed person to feel like they’re unwanted and alone,thus fosters the suicidal thoughts.

Although people consider suicide a real tragedy and wishes that the victims hadn’t done it,there are those who tend to be highly judgmental and disrespectful when it comes to deaths by suicide. A lot of people see suicide as a taboo and an abominable act and also go ahead to attack the dead,calling them all sorts of vile names and saying that they don’t deserve the respect that’s accorded to the memory of the dead because of the circumstances surrounding their death. A lot of people call suicide victims all sorts of names the most popular being cowards, weaklings and selfish individuals who didn’t consider their loved ones when they chose to go,most times without even considering the actions that led to it.

What a lot of people fail to understand is that before a person decides that suicide is their best bet,they’ve most likely been fighting a draining war for a long time in their minds,looking for even the slightest reason to keep living when they have voices in their head giving them millions of reasons why they should just do the world a favour and take their lives. Most people are quick to judge without actually trying to understand, a lot of people are so quick to say suicide is never the answer but are pretty slow to pick out the signs(or they don’t really care) and they don’t really try to understand what’s going on with the suicidal people.

We’re so quick to criticise them and dismiss their cries for help as mere clout chases while also disrespecting the memories of those who lost their lives to suicide. When we really should be considerate,give them support and a listening ear,and show them that life is worth winning and that they can win that battle in their heads. They don’t need judgements or harsh criticisms as that’s only going to add to the feelings of worthlessness which will foster the suicidal thoughts and eventually lead to a life lost if care’s not taken what they need is love,support and understanding so that they know that they are not alone and that life is worth living.

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  • sam

    honestly. it’s like stepping into a dark void. one you’d barely notice till you’re in too deep. even if you do find some light and get out. it’s scarred you, so getting over it isn’t as easy as ‘just do it, you’ll be alright’ or ‘it’s not that hard, just sleep it off and you’ll be fine’ honestly I’m not exactly sure how to really get past this. it’s just. real crazy. comforting and scary. if that makes any sense. but I think/guess the first step is to talk it out. so yh. that helps. we’ve barely scratched the surface. I was privileged enough to take another route cuz I felt the suicide route was ‘too easy’, basically I just didn’t like the idea of others explaining my situation when I’m gone, fake sympathy n all, so I went on that feeling even worse than death would be a lot more entertaining. and I did. managed to get some self experiences I believe no one should have. basically it hits whichever route one takes, either drugs for comfort, or nothing at all just being there. doing nothing.
    I really hope a lot of us really understand how this goes and try to notice the signs before it’s too late. or things get really messed up.

  • sam

    I saw this channel on YouTube tho. psych2go which basically deals with signs of abs how to notice these types of things and more. so I guess that helps too. other than that I think we should all just be nicer and a little more into people’s business. who knows, might save lives.

  • sam

    depression is a really.. really deep thing.
    honestly a lot of people won’t understand unless they’re in the same situation or have massive empathy levels. even beyond all this are even more signs (as if all this wasn’t enough) which just come out of nowhere. (mentioning a few) anxiety n depression seem to just go together, like milk n milo, hyperventilating in some cases..why? not sure. it’s just there, it might not even be just ‘thoughts’, people go through stuff that makes them depressed, criticism, bullying, shaming, abuse, all sorts of things which doesn’t exactly look like something you’d have printed on your shirt, and rather than at least trying to empathize a lot with said person, you’d make it a lot worse. when one is suicidal, at least in my case or that I can relate to, it’s not just something you wake up to and you’re like ‘welp, it’s lovely day outside, I think I’m going to kill myself now.’ it’s something that has been going on for so long that at the moment it seems like the only resort, only solution, to end it all, even if it means you’ll suffer, it’ll just be for a minute. then you’ll be free. analogy, when you hear stuff like a student failed his project and just killed himself. you’d just think. man. guy you weak gan. ordinary one carryover and you go kill yourself, wetin you gain. but they wouldn’t know about all the pressure that person must’ve been under, all things hanging on the line at that moment. how many high hopes were placed on that. before it all just seemed to come crashing down. and the saddest thing. no one will ever know, they can only feel ‘fake sympathy’ or just momentary feelings of.. oh my gosh. when did this happen. he was even laughing n joking around last night. what happened. why? cuz the only person that could actually explain, is gone. so now others will explain for them. sad.
    not being able to understand that people actually go through serious stuff before
    the feeling of suicide alone. thinking about how you were before becoming this way is just enough to feel there’s no hope.
    people barely understand or try to understand, and it’s cool I guess cuz everyone has their own issues to deal with or their own ‘demons’ to fight or whatever, but honestly, I just feel it would be nicer if people were actually nicer, a little more understanding. and less prone to at least using the concept of depression to joke around, cuz some of us actually go through that. and it is not pretty. anyone could Google the signs and what it ‘feels like’ but honestly you couldn’t possibly understand unless you were in it too, (which we honestly wouldn’t wish for anyone, cuz it sucks that much)
    what was the main point of me saying this again.. I have no idea. but yh. thanks for talking about this I guess. it’s not exactly the overly used pep talk on how ‘everything is going to be alright’ or ‘hang in there’. it’s just a bit nice to know that at least some people out there understand even a little bit y’know. thanks for talking about this.

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