So I was scrolling through my Quora feed and answering the questions people left for me(yeah I started answering questions on Quora because it helps people to see me as an expert 😄) and then I came across one particular question that caught my attention(screenshot below) and I just had to answer it. Why? Because there are so many other women out there who ask questions similar to this one, women who are completely at a loss when it comes to their sexuality, usually due to the way society handles issues regarding female sexuality and the rigid standards involved. So I decided to address it today(been planning to since but things came up 😅) but in the form of an open letter to every girl out there who has been affected by these standards…..
I know how hard it is living in a world that doesn’t allow you to express yourself as you’d like to because there are so many rules put in place to hold you back,a world where female sexuality is seen as a taboo and where females being sexual is equivalent to them reducing their value when that’s actually not the case because a woman is way more than her sex life & body count. You’ve heard the words,”Good girls don’t like sex” for so long that it had actually become imprinted in your head and affects the way you view sex and sexuality,makes you think that being sexual in any way is an abomination because girls aren’t meant to be sexual. You end up judging the girls who are sexual,believing that they are less than worthy of respect because of their dirty lifestyle, I mean, after all that’s what they told you right? That’s what you’ve been hearing all your life so it has to be true.
So you go on living that way,not knowing anything about your sexuality because you’re a good girl and you don’t involve yourself in those kinda things. You continue like this until one day,you have your first experience and it feels like something just woke up in you,awareness of your own sexual nature and the fact that it doesn’t reduce who you are. You feel weird at first,coming to terms with the fact that you can no longer play the role of “good girl” because you’ve done the dirty. You regret it for a while and wish you hadn’t done it in the first place until you begin to come to terms with it and accept the fact that you’ve already had some sexual experience and that can’t be reversed.
A while after coming to terms with it,you decide to go ahead and explore your newly awakened sexuality and as you do so,you begin to realize that being sexual or not does not reduce your value in any way because there’s more to you than your sexual experience or lack of. Unfortunately,however;now you’re open to being shamed just like the other girls you used to judge;with people now calling you names like slut,whore,skank or whatever else they can use to shame you for your sexuality because to them,you’re now one of the promiscuous ones who can’t close their legs. They use shame as a weapon against you,making you feel bad about yourself and guilty for your own sexual nature so that it will be easier for them to bend you to their will and much as you try to avoid it getting to you,it still hits its mark once in a while.
Well, I’m here to give you a boost,and a little reminder that your sexuality is a part of your humanity and therefore is not something to be ashamed of but rather something to be proud of. I’m here to tell you that your self worth is not affected by your sexual experience or lack of and that you are more than your body count. In a world where girls expressing their sexuality is frowned upon and where we’re constantly being shamed for it, I want you to know that the best way to live is to just be yourself and be unapologetic for it. So ignore the negatives and just do you boo,you’ll be fine in the end ❤.
Yours truly, Arreta🌺
Well that’s it for me today,if you could relate to the letter in any way,then let me know in the comments sections below. If you loved this post and would love to be kept updated on the next posts,then just click on the follow button and follow the blog. So yeah,I’m done for today,and really glad that I was able to write this letter because I wanted to try something different and talk to my readers in a more personal way and this was my first attempt😅😊. So uhmm see you next time guys…..