relationships

5 Beautiful Lessons I’ve Learned From Being In A Toxic Relationship.

Toxic relationships, huh? No one ever wants to find themselves in it but then a lot of people have the unfortunate privilege of experiencing at least one of them in their lifetimes. I won’t lie to you,being in a toxic relationship is one of the most stressful and mentally draining experiences you will ever have to go through(take it from someone who has been there,its so not pretty;like not at all). And what’s even more heartbreaking about it is the recovery process which can be extremely difficult depending on how long it was,the type of abuse suffered and some other things that can affect the healing process. In fact, when we come to think of it;there’s so much negativity that comes to mind whenever toxic relationships are mentioned.

But then,what if I told you that there’s a little bit of positivity to be associated with it? I mean you can always look at it like a blessings and lessons situation where you can always pick out the silver lining in your gloomy cloud. Sure there’s a lot of negativity associated with toxic relationships but then there’s also a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel that should be able to help you with your healing process. To be honest with you guys,these lessons never really came to me when I had just gotten out of my last relationship (quite terrible that one) because at that phase, I was too busy trying to understand what had happened in there as well as get over the pain of it all while picking myself up.

One thing I must tell you though,is that recovery is possible. Your healing is very possible,but then it is also very difficult and painful(if I’m to be  honest with you,I am still in my recovery phase). But then even at that, I was still able to learn a few lessons along the way that were able to help me get by just fine and still keep it together(to the best of my ability at least). And today I’ve decided to share those lessons with you guys,because I know that out there there are people who have either been in or are currently in situation similar to mine and who need a little something to help them out(or maybe you just need this write up in order to see the light in a negative situation of your own). Well whatever it is, I’m here to help you out and I’ve got you covered so just sit back,relax and let me take you through this list. So now,without further ado,here we go…..

Beautiful Lessons I’ve Learned From Being In A Toxic Relationship.

1.) No love is worth losing yourself: In other words,save some of that good love for yourself. No matter how much you love someone,always try your best to set and maintain a healthy boundary so that things don’t get out of hand. Trust me, I know how how tempting it is to go all out in loving someone (I tend to do it a lot,like a real lot),however it’s best for you to try to set a few boundaries that will help you keep some of that love for yourself because if you ever do lose yourself in a bid to love someone,it’s going to get quite complicated and even unhealthy(this is actually an unhealthy behaviour in itself and combined with a toxic partner it’s a recipe for disaster).

2.) Don’t give any second chances: Yes yes I know it’s good to forgive, forget and reconcile but in this case,you only need to forgive(and forget the pain at least but not the experience). Don’t you dare try to give them a second chance in your life for any reason whatsoever because doing that simply gives the chance to continue what they’d already started with you and this time,they’d make it almost impossible for you to walk away because they’re not done with breaking and manipulating you and giving them a chance to come in provides them with the opportunity to do just that. So my dear,close that damn door!!

3.) Remember why you had to walk away: You left that relationship for a reason, right? Maybe you were tired of all the mind games they played with you or all the lies they told you and the many many tricks they played. Maybe you left because you got tired of loving someone who only derived joy in playing with your emotions and draining you of your energy and you found the strength to finally walk away. Well then, although forgiveness is a very necessary part of the healing process it’s important to note that you should not EVER forget the reason why you walked away,it will help keep you from going back to that unhealthy situation (in other words,hammering on lesson #2).

4.) It’s okay to take your time: Time to grieve and ask yourself why things happened the way they did, to think about everything that you’d just gone through and the time to heal. You see,when you just come out of a toxic relationship you are going to need a lot of time to process everything that had just happened to you and to heal yourself of all the pain and the trauma and I’m going to advise you to not rush it but to rather take as much time as you need to get your head straight and to move on from all the negativity. This should help you understand the importance of taking your time.

5.) Healing is possible: Yes it’s going to be hard as hell and so tough for you that you feel like throwing it all to hell and going back to your former situation (NEVER do that though!). I want you to know that even though the healing process is so difficult for you and that it’s taking so much time,it is possible and that you will come out stronger than you were before. It’s tough yes,but the there’s always going to be that guiding light at the end of the tunnel that’s meant to give you some hope. Just look out for it and you’ll be okay.

So yeah,that’s it for today. I decided to write this post because I wanted to share something personal with you guy and what better than this. Plus there’s also the fact that I want to run a mini series on the blog that covers toxic relationships so I decided to use this as some kinda warm up,one that you’ll hopefully enjoy. If you loved this post, then I’d really appreciate it if you’d help me share it to any of your friends who might need something like this. If you’re interested in receiving the latest updates on the blog,then just click the subscribe button and stay tuned. Anyway, I guess that’s it from me for now,see you later loves.

Yours truly, Arreta🌺

20 Comments

  • Smelly socks and garden peas

    I love this post. Its wonderful that you’re strong enough to recognise that you need time, to be patient with yourself and to grow back into your own person. Using the word grief is a very clear way of expressing what you’re recovering from. Good luck and stay strong.

  • DANOE

    What an awesome piece, I am so glad that you put this out there to help those who need it. I am thankful that I learnt one or two things. Thank you SmugFace

  • Eunice

    A lot of people are really going through this. While many are scared to come out of toxic relationships, many find it hard to heal from heal. Very insightful

    • Benita

      Thank you lovey. I won’t lie to you I found it very hard to heal from mine when I was in there(hell I even found it hard to walk away from it). But then coming out of it is necessary and I want people to know that even if it’s an ugly experience in itself,there can still be some beauty to be found in it

  • Eden

    Nice one baby girl. Always known you had it in you. Just don’t stop helping young girls and women out there, you hear me babe? The sad thing about all of this is that some girls still don’t know toxic relationships when they see one. They literally living in it but they just don’t know it…yet. Keep reaching out to our women baby!! We need things like this to keep boosting our strenght tank and persona.
    I’m tots glad you got over yours! Be strong, sweet cheeks.

    • Benita

      How dare I stop? Helping out girls like me is my goal here,and I won’t stop now(or ever). Trust me when I say that toxic relationships can take on different forms and shapes,so a lot of people wouldn’t really know. And I’m glad that I got out of mine the way I did.

  • Lenora

    These are truly lessons
    And most importantly… I’m glad they’re lessons well learnt
    Making mistakes is good… That’s how we learn
    For every relationship… There is a purpose… And when you can’t find that purpose with your partner, you leave… You’re absolutely right
    I’m proud of you Terra ❤️
    Thanks for inspiring girls out there

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